Random funny pics

Forget the net-book, kick it old school with the typewriter

SOME FACTS ABOUT SANTA CLAUS

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000 th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the 'flying reindeer' can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine - we need 214200 reindeer. This increased the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh to 353430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four timed the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces of 17500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead.

Gotta love the sample

Gold

this has to be my favorite clip from Curb this season

this guy has balls to be wearing these shorts

Terrafugia - street legal airplane

This is some next gen stuff. Havnent really read into it much, but the pics are pretty cool. ($194k) http://www.terrafugia.com/

Internet Addiction Much?

Artistic Foods

Browsing around the intrawebosphere, i came across an interesting artist. (http://www.kevinvanaelst.com/art.html) 

Historical Pick-Ups

 

 

Redefining Fantasy Football

http://www.lflus.com/

Are you enjoying the USB port? You're welcome

Double bag your dead cats

i thought this was going to be another stupid baby brutality story from winnipeg. read this story and see what actually happened, hilarious 

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/buried-baby-a-false-alarm-63834812.html

NEW office 2010

http://www.microsoft.com/office/2010/

i like it, big focus on online collaboration and just easier to use..for everyone

look at all the lonely people

Damn It feels good to be a gangsta

My favorite part is when he undoes his desk and then starts playing tetris.

define: irony

Only in bollywood...

Japanese Infomercial

I wonder if this is funnier when you actually understand Japanese because its pretty hilarious by itself.

Rodrigo y Gabriella

Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions

I'll give you a cookie if you can steal this bike

FML: Both Sides Of The Story (repost)

Everyone said the hot English teacher was a bitch, but I took her anyway. Our first week of class, she assigned a 12 page paper. It's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks (17543) - you totally deserve it (9865)
On 9/3/2009 at 4:23pm - misc - by straight effed - United States (Maine)

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I asked my students to write a short essay on Hawthorne. Well turns out I wrote "6000 words" instead of "600". Hello 300 extra pages of reading this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks (6234) - you totally deserve it (23865)
On 09/4/2009 at 11:23am - misc. - by schooled - United States (Maine) 

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This girl I really like finally invited me to her house for a party. I spent all Saturday getting ready but when I got there, the house was empty. The party was Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you totally deserve it (5106)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:30am - misc. - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

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My parents left for the weekend, so I spent $200 on a party for my entire class. The only one who showed up was this creepy kid who keeps a picture of me in his locker. I told him it was the wrong night just so he'd leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks (15901) - you totally deserve it (8791)
On 8/31/2009 at 1:23pm - misc. - by pissedoff - United States (Virginia)

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It's bad when your boyfriend cries when you try to break up with him. It's worse when, to get back at you, he sends "private" pictures of the two of you to everyone at the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks (212234) - you totally deserve it (3865)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:32am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

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After a big fight, I e-mailed my girlfriend some cute/sexy pictures to make up. Two minutes later, my work blackberry went off - gmail auto-completed "Alana" as "all". FML

I agree, your life sucks (9074) - you totally deserve it (5865)
On 07/12/2009 at 11:33pm - love - by missyou - United States (New York)

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I spent all last night baking brownies for my boyfriend's birthday. He said he'd eat them later. I found them in the trash the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you totally deserve it (9321)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:23pm - love - by sadchef - United States (California) 

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My girlfriend thinks you make pot brownies by pouring weed into brownie mix. Now I'm stuck with brownies with $120 worth of my burnt pot baked into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks (53523) - you totally deserve it (2121)
On 06/09/2009 at 11:33pm - money - by girlsaredumb - United States (California)

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When the smart, cute, blonde senior in my English recitation had sex with me the last day of class, I thought she liked me. All she wanted was a better grade on her Shakespeare final. I don't even grade the finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks (13218) - you totally deserve it (23765)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by phdinlove - United States (Florida)

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Pretty sure I just found out my gf is fucking her TA on FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks (53278) - you totally deserve it (3423)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:13am - love - by dumpingthatbitch - United States (Florida)

Do you really want to know my opinion?

Well its time for PDENG to start again. What a piece of crap this is, but at least, its the last one, ever.

I'm having trouble understanding this assignment, as i have the last fifty assignments. Can someone please explain to me how to do the following:

"2) Using a “reporter‐style” (opinion‐neutral style, so that others can form their own opinions),
describe your chosen issue, describe your personal experiences with that issue, and explain why 
you believe it is important for the public to learn more about this issue. "

Do the two bolded parts seem kind of oxymoronical to you too?

YYZ

brilliant tune with an incredible drum solo

Alicia on Lil Mama .. haha

Classy

http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Main_Page

Jay-Z at MSG

http://www.goodfellaradioshow.com/2009/09/jay-z-911-concert-in-madison-square.html

if anyone finds a torrent or something, holla

Winnipeg Roadtrip

After a lot of arguing, fighting and attempting to make all members of the family happy, this iteration of the road trip plan to Winnipeg looks promising. So, 22 hours, 3 days and lots of kilometers later, I should have covered this much ground:



Lets hope all goes well and they let me cross the border with everything that I own.

Marketing Brilliance

http://nextround.net/2009/08/28/15-durex-ads-so-clever-they-almost-make-you-want-to-buy-condoms/

owned in 3..2..1

612 scaglietti

i saw this sexyness on the 407 today, two old guys test driving it near the ferarri showroom.

my picture sucks, but this one is nice:

Fish Fart

House Beatz

Cymbalta, more reasons not to get it

I saw this commercial on TV for an anti-depressant. I understand that a drug company needs to watch its back by advising patients not to take drugs if they have other pre-existing conditions or are on other medications. BUT, if the ad says, ask your doctor for details, then WHY do they spend 75% of the commercial giving you reasons not to buy the product. Brilliant.

Hippos are faster than Usain Bolt

So it turns out that an hippo can run at 30 mph, whereas the fastest man on earth only reaches 29 mph. This idiot game keeper decided to disturb this beast of an animal while it was eating lunch, and now he's running for his life. Never, i repeat, NEVER, disturb a fat man (or animal) while eating!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1208479/Shocked-gamekeeper-runs-life-ton-hippo.html

New Foos?!

http://www.edge.ca/Channels/Reg/NewRockNews/Story.aspx?ID=1130822

Crazy Fast Robot Hand

http://www.engadget.com/2009/08/22/video-robot-hand-shows-off-amazing-dexterity-speed/

Artistic Cycling = 2 Girls + 1 Bike

Passing Side, Suicide

On the way to Waterloo today...





I chose right. Still here.

Inide

Got a Problem? Fix it!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/80712667/

Crazy Paintings

http://www.thetoyzone.com/2009/blog/10-awesome-images-that-are-actually-paintings/

study jams

Just Kickin It (Remix) - Xscape

An experiement in killing fruit flies

The other day, we randomly had a massive infestation of fruit flies. We tried finding the source but could not. So, we decided to conduct an experiment...what is the best method of exterminating these pesky, horny bugars. After some research, it was concluded that three methods would be used: 1) Baiting the Fruit Flies into an Oven, and then burning them 2) A bowl of fruit and balsamic vinegar 3) a bowl of apple cider vinegar. Results are shown below:






it was found that the best method was the holocaust method, bait them in with some fruit, slam the door a few hours later and crank up the heat. As the saying goes, if you cant take the heat, then get the f out the kitchen.

I really need to study

biking home

yesterday i was biking home and it was dark

i almost hit a black girl because i didnt see her.

i managed to swerve away because of her white ipod headphones.

Babies Thrown 50ft Off Temple

This is the most cracker thing i've ever heard:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/20080641314661

2:10pm UK, Thursday May 01, 2008

The bizarre ritual of throwing newborn babies off a temple 50ft high and catching them in a cloth sheet has been observed in India.

Babies are thrown from a temple

Devotees at a Muslim shrine in western India's Maharashtra state believe the act makes children stronger.

It is practised by couples who are blessed with a child after taking a vow at the Baba Sheikh Umar Saheb 'Dargah' (the Muslim place of worship) in the Musti village of Solapur.

The ritual has been observed for more than 500 years.

The devotees believeit is good for the health of the child but some onlookers were visibly shaken by it.

Locals claim no child who has been thrown has suffered any physical disability.

The ritual is observed by both Muslims and Hindus every year and takes place amid tight security.

One mother, named Jayashree, said: "If you do this, it is good for the child.

"They become healthy. It is to get the blessings of God. The babies are between nine months and 11 months old or sometimes are of even less age."

Another mother said: "It is to give them courage, intelligence and strength. This is an old tradition.

"These people have been doing this and we will continue to do this."

A health department worker added: "People have fear and devotion for the God. People do this so that the child becomes courageous. This is what people want. They feel it would benefit them."

Library Conversations

Context: Me, sitting in DC library, around 11pm, at the group study tables. Not really group studying, just crashing the party of some accounting folk. Sitting opposite me, brown guy, asian girl, working together on some case study. She is filling out some sort of form, he is helping her.

Brownman [presumably looks at a picture]: Hey, you have a very round face
Asiangirl [looks insulted]: What!? are you saying im fat?
Brownman [look on face should be on a mastercard commercial = priceless]

The funny part of this story...she was fat, really fat.

Rusty

stupid girls ella ella ay ay

this site is awsome

http://thisisphotobomb.com/

30 Classic Music Albums Recreated With Lego

Source

Its the turn of musical album covers to get a Lego make-over, you will find album covers of Nirvana, Oasis, Radiohead, Bob Dylan, Iron Maiden… and many more. Yep, its official, there really is nothing that can not be created with Lego.

Nevermind – Nirvana

Melt – Peter Gabriel

Queen II – Queen

Definitely Maybe – Oasis

Piece of Mind – Iron Maiden

Play – Moby

In Rainbows – Radiohead

One Step Beyond… – Madness

Love and Theft – Bob Dylan

White Blood Cells – The White Stripes

Tonight – Franz Ferdinand

The Wall – Pink Floyd

Carnival – Wycleaf Jean

Dark Side of the Moon – Pink Floyd

It’s not me, it’s you – Lily Allen

The Joshua Tree – U2

Graceland – Paul Simon

Our Earthly Pleasures – Maximo Park

Stankonia – Outkast

Meat is Murder – The Smiths

Dynasty – Kiss

Yours Truly, Angry Mob – Kaiser Chiefs

Ace Of Spades – Motorhead

Abbey Road – The Beatles

A Hard Days Night – The Beatles

Please Please Me – The Beatles

Let it be – The Beatles

Yellow Submarine – The Beatles

Doctorin’ the Tardis – The Timelords

Doctors Advocate – The Game

Revolver – The Beatles